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July 2009 M T W T F S S « Feb 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 Archives
It’s taken me awhile to write and post this one. I don’t want to dwell too much but at the same time, I don’t want to push the feelings aside either. A couple weeks ago, Emma, Brooks and I watched a touching little movie on a Saturday night. Afterward, we picked up the photobook of Brody, our little yorkie who was hit by a car in VA. Emma almost immediately walked away and climbed the stairs with her head down. I followed her and found her sobbing on the bed. “Why did we have to leave Virginia Mommy?” “I miss Viriginia!”, she kept repeating. I tried everything to make her feel better, keeping a close watch on not letting my own sadness about leaving our home in VA. come out and make her feel even worse.
It must be so hard to be so young and have to make a move, especially from a place you loved so much — your first home. What am I saying? It was so hard for me too. We all loved this home in Virginia — for its beautiful surroundings , but mostly for all of the joyful times we spent there…..sitting under the 30 foot cherry tree to pose for family photos, our annual Maypole party, the summer the cicadas invaded, running and running and running all over the yard with our dogs, inspecting the ground for the first crocuses of the spring, pressing the Virginia bluebells between pieces of paper, the hours of tearing off years of vines from the dogwoods, the smell of the 70 year old boxwoods around the driveway on a cool evening, swinging for hours on Emma’s swing trying to touch the branches, dinner parties with our dear friends, birthday parties, cookouts under the stars, watching the sun rise over the hills from our bedroom, the way the sun streaked across the backyard at the end of the day, the night Emma first noticed the moon and asked her dad to get it for her, her first steps, playing “chase” in the house, playing with her dolls in the sunroom, sitting in the kitchen on the couch next to the fire, dancing to “ABCDEFG…” in the living room, the day the 18 wheel dump truck delivered the 50 tons of belgian blocks, Brooks laying each of them along the long driveway edge, our special flagpole, getting married in the beautiful chestnut grove with our family and friends surrounding us, spending our first night in our new home after a year of searching for this perfect spot…… bringing our darling Emma home for the first time….. All of these memories and more flashed through my mind as my darling daughter lay sobbing next to me.
It was then that I felt such a wave of emotion, thinking that yes, eventhough we left this special, beautiful place behind, we are in and always will be in a beautiful special “place”. It was then that I attempted to calm Emma by explaining the old saying “Home is where the heart is”. I told her that I would be happy anywhere in the world as long as I was there with her and Daddy. She looked at me and we then both cried together. Tears of joy. We are so very blessed to have eachother and such special memories together.
The photos above are two particularly memorable shots from VA.: one is a shot of Emma and her dogs (including the little angel Brody) under the magical 30 foot cherry tree, the other is of Emma lying in the grass one Spring day in her little pink tutu. I just love the look on her face….it sort of says it all….
So….the photo a day thing isn’t quite working….. At least I am thinking about taking a photo a day… that’s lame, huh?
Well, this photo and video if I can figure out how to upload it is of a wonderful day we had recently with some dear friends. On Sunday, 2/3, The Deans came for a visit from N.C. and Tonya and her daughter Isabel and Emma and I joined them for lunch and an afternoon on the slopes.
It was so absolutely adorable to see our six year old daughters hug and express their pure joy when they hugged eachother hello ….”it’s so nice to see you!” they said. Friendship. I am so happy that Emma truly “gets’” the value of friendship and feels it so emotionally. Riley’s visit was something she looked forward to and is still talking about. Having Riley made Emma’s transition to school so much easier. It was heartbreaking to see them hug goodbye on that day Jess drove them from school to their new lives last year. But, it’s so nice that they can pick up where they left off and have a great time playing, talking and giggling!
So, this Sunday’s little reunion was wonderful. And…..drum roll……Emma decided to join her friends Riley and Isabel on the BIG slope and ride the lift for the first time! This is quite a big deal for her and I was so so proud and happy for her.
I have some catching up to do…. about 5 days of photos/posts to catch up on….
Last Friday, February 1st, after we said a blessing for dinner, Emma had a very serious look on her face and asked, “Maybe I shouldn’t ask this, but….was God ever a child?” Brooks and I looked at each other , amazed at the thoughtfulness of this question. Well, we both admitted that we were not sure if God was ever a child and explained that Jesus was the son of God and came to us as a baby, so in some ways, God was a child in Jesus. Emma then said, “I actually don’t think God was ever a child…”
In fact, Emma has always asked many profound questions about God — as early as when she was 2 1/2. She asked “was there anything here before God?”, “who made God?” And, one day following the loss of our dear dog, Brody, I was saying to Emma in the car, “Remember when Brody would ride in our laps when we were driving in the car?” and she responded gently (at 4 years old…) “Mommy, don’t worry, he’s in God’s lap now.”
If we could all hold onto the joy, clarity, innocence and spirituality we had as a young child.
These watercolors are two of Emma’s latest creations and I thought they’d be a nice visual for this entry.
How wonderful it is when the days become noticeably longer. Having just moved to New Hampshire last year from Virginia, the earlier sunset each day in the winter has been one of the toughest things to get used to. But today, as we left Emma’s weekly Gymnastics class, it was still LIGHT out at 5:00 when only just a week ago it was considerable darker.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the winter time in New Hampshire — amazing snow, great skiing, skating, snowshoeing. But, I also crave the springtime and tonight’s sky made me smile.
Hmm – posted the last post on Thursday, 1 /31 and it shows up as 2/1. Can’t figure out how to change…
Diana
This little card from my daughter is the latest in special pictures she brings home from first grade. She’s walking under a rainbow with a sun surrounded by little hearts. Can life get any better?? This little drawing just brought me such amazing joy.
Each day when I unpack her backpack to look for messages from her teacher and see what she didn’t eat in her lunch, I am gifted with one or more of her creations. The most common themes this year are hearts, stars, smiling faces, little sweet animals. Each one is signed “To Mom, XO Emma” I have saved each and every one of her creations from the past 6+ years. I don’t think any piece of paper that she has put a mark of any kind on has made its way into the trash. When they fill up the kitchen drawer, I move them into a big plastic box (we’re on box #6 I think now.)
Each day, I marvel at how blessed we are that this little angel is our daughter. Xo, Mommy.
So, I was trying out my new wide angle lens the other day. Emma decided that the best way to be photographed with a wide angle lens is with a wide angle smile. This one reminds me of those funny greeting card photos of animals with huge noses close into the lens…
The other night, Emma took over in the kitchen and prepared her first stif-fry all by herself. Holding the knife with great care (whew), she sliced all the veggies (except for the onions to avoid the tears), stood up on her little stool wearing her cute little apron from Aunt Slater and sauteed away! Delicious!
After we ate, she asked me “why don’t you like cooking mom?” I said, “Well, I just don’t like cooking alone” at which point she told me that she loved cooking and would do it with my anytime. Maybe she’ll be a chef one day…..if she decides not to be a “bone hunter” as she proclaimed last year. We’ll see. Lots of possibilities out there.
About two weeks ago, my husband and I were talking about our parrot (Black-capped conure names Pippin). We adopted Pippin over a year ago. I must admit, this may have been one of my biggest pet mistakes…. (no, getting a male and female hamster was…) Though he is adorable, smart and beautiful, he loves to bite toes (or anything else he can get his beak on) and deposits the contents of his digestive tract whenever (often) and wherever (everywhere) he wishes. The fact of the matter is that my daughter and husband adore him. Pippin is actually my husband’s almost constant companion. Brooks (my husband) has trained him so well that when he goes outside where Pippin can fly around, he actually comes back, landing on your shoulder when he is hungry. It’s been a bit rough for him this winter, though he does get out on some of the warmer days.
So, the other night, Brooks (my husband) was saying, “Well at least Pippin can fly around outside 3 seasons of the year.” I replied that I feared that one day he would get taken by a hawk. Brooks concurred, but we both agreed that a short life with freedom was much better than being stuck in a cage. (hmm… and interesting subject for later)
The next day, Brooks called me on my cell phone and told me that Pippin had just be “taken” by a hawk…. Sarah, our neice, saw it happen…. The hawk actually grabbed him from a tree and flew off. It was horrible to think of the fear our poor little bird had to endure. We hoped that his demise was a quick one. I said, I guess in an attempt to make my husband feel better, that “if any bird could ever escape from a hawk, Pippin could!” Well, I was proven right, when about 6 hours later in the dark, he flew back down to my husband’s shoulder while he was outside.
Darwin’s theory in action? hmm….
Here are a few photos intended (last week..) for my photo-a-day thing. Now that I finally started this blog, I will attempt to keep up.
These shots of Emma, Avery and KC were taken last Monday, on one of the coldest days of the winter (about 4 degrees that afternoon — minus something or other with the wind-chill). I had Emma’s friends over for the afternoon and we decided that we needed to get some excercise. I almost got frostbite on my shutter-clicking finger.
After much anxiety about the tooth-fairy taking her tooth…..and drama about the bleeding having to go to school with a gap in her mouth….Emma has lost her FIRST TOOTH!!! Emma wrote a little note to the tooth fairy requesting that she NOT take the tooth. She explained, “because is it very special to me.” It really struck me that losing a first tooth is truly a rite of passage for a child. I am curious about Emma’s strong need to keep the tooth — most of her friends really don’t care, as long as they get some money for it. Nonetheless, today was a big day at our house! (oh, and the tooth fairy left Emma a nice note as well as a silver dollar dated 2001, the year she was born)
Skiing at Crotched Mountain for a quick 4 runs!…..40 degrees, sunny, perfect snow. With the mountain only 5 minutes away, we can go skiing pretty much any day. I should go more often!
Later that night, we went to Sharon Arts Center for the Member’s Exhibition. I submitted a pastel, called “Summer field in NH”. This annual exhibition has been the impetus for me to complete a pastel each year for the past 3 years. Wow, talk about needing a goal! Maybe this year I will actually finsh a few pieces inbetween time.
My photography biz partner, Tonya submitted a gorgeous B/W portrait of a little girl called “Eva’s Eyes”.
This is my first blog post…and like so many other things, I have been procrastinating writing this first entry. I’ve recently decided to challenge myself to take a photo a day and post it on this blog along with some explanation of its significance. For years now, I have been jotting down important happenings, thoughts, funny things my daughter says and does on little scraps of paper. Then, if they don’t get lost, I shove them into that gorgeous handmade journal that I never seem to write in except when we’re on vacation. So….maybe I’ll have more luck “journaling” in a virtual space.
The photo a day thing has me really excited. I recently started a photography business, Wonder Blink Photography, with a friend of mine here in NH. We both have been taking photos all of our lives…. as the designated photographer at all gatherings of friends and families. When we had our kids, photography become so much more emotional and important. For me, the changes that occur as my daughter grows are so absolutely amazing and priceless. Taking photographs is a way to capture those moments forever.
Back to the photo a day goal…. I actually started last week, but have of course missed a couple days…argh. I will put the shots up tomorrow….alas I am a procrastinator. Well, at least I have finally entered my first post!
This photo is from a day about 4 years ago. It’s one of my favorites of my daughter Emma from a trip to St. John for a dear friend’s wedding. She was 3 years old — going on 30. I love the sun and sand on her skin. She was having a blast at the beach that day running after seagulls and playing in the water….
